Archive for January 17th, 2005


I can almost remember back that far, when I was a young man – a friend and my conversation went something like this:

“I’m off to an astrology meeting” “Uh huh!” I said, non-commitedly. “Yes”, he replied, “would you like to come?” “Errr… no thanks” I replied. We walked on towards the bus stop in companiable silence. As we approached the bus stop, he added: “Funny really, whenever I go to these meetings there are always seven girls to every one bloke.” When the bus came, I hopped on with him, and went to my first astrology meeting!

I then embarked on my astrology training. Nowadays it can be taken at degree level, but I only studied for a couple of years part time. It got a bit boring after a while having so many women around but I persevered. Synchronisation is the difficult bit. Most of the world only know their sun signs, nut your ascendent, which moves into a different sign every two hours, is the most important one. Learning that I was born on the 19th of July would inform the uninitiated that I was a Cancerian. However, a serious astrologer, once he learned of my time and place of birth as well, would say I was a Leo (ascendent) with sun in Cancer.

Andrew’s Natal Chart

But enough of this. This blog is about the stupidity of the media putting a twelth of the entire population into one box to write about.

There are twelve signs of the zodiac, if we then take the sun and planets and ascendent, and one or two others, we have another twelve. Now take those into consideration with the signs of the zodiac and we have 144 different types of people. Now we take the twelve houses and we have 1,728 different aspects of charater.

Then we look at the amount of degrees between all the planets, ascendent etc and we can change those personality traits depending on how far or how near lins are drawn on the chart between 30, 60, 90, 120 and 180 degrees. Depending on the above “lines” we can use degree ratios between 2 and 8. The we need to see whether the differences are waxing or waning, and this get even more “differences”. Many astrologers use even more aspect ratios. We are now talking millions and millions of different types.

Once I was happily married I sort of lost touch with astrology but it still brings a smile to my face when I remember some of the parties I used to go to. All the men in the background looking really pissed off, and me in the foreground surrounded by every woman in the place saying “What about me, will you do my chart”

What brought this rant on? An astrology holiday feature in the Saturday Mail. I reproduce it here with my comments in square brackets.


Holiday Heaven:

Family-orientated Cancer needs to feel at home — wherever that may be. As a Water sign, you are emotional and sensitive and happiest by a lake or river.

Good matches are canal boating in the Netherlands, Germany or the UK.

[Rubbish – I do like being on water, but the sea, not a river – and more than that I prefer driving a Land Rover Defender in the South African Bush with a rifle by my side]

Last Resort:

Sensitive and nostalgic, you would hate forced entertainment, or being thrown into a ready-made family not of your choosing. Cancer, the Crab, is very private and does not like its shell prised open against its will.

[Well, nearer the mark here, I have never been on a “packaged holiday” nor ever will. It wouldn’t have bothered me if my wife had a few children from a previous marriage – as long as they were all over eighteen!]

A coach tour of European cities, Butlins or Disney World would make you retreat into your shell.

[Oh! how bloody true!]

Romantic Retreat:

Declare your love in the romantic Highlands or islands of Scotland — you have a strong affinity for family and your roots, so stay at an ancestral home by the sea, where Cancer the crab can enjoy paddling in the rock pools on the shore. Rest and Relaxation: Cancer rules both Scotland and Mauritius. With educational Saturn in your sign until July, you’ll find the peace and quiet you need to reflect.

[Good Lord, NO! No! No! Funnily enough I am originally Scottish but I am so ashamed at the envy of the Scots towards the English up there that I try very hard not to talk about being Scots. I am not exactly ashamed, but nowadays I am certainly not proud! Anyway I was brought up in South Africa and feel I am more South African than British!]

Star choice:

Navigate a boat along the German waterways, no experience necessary. A four-berth, two-bathroom boat with fitted kitchen and lounge costs £1,555 for four people. Departure from Potsdam, May 14. Book with Connoisseur Travel on 0870 1605648 or online http://www.connoisseurafloat.

[Ah! a bloody sales thingy! Give me a motor yacht that I can “drive” down to Portugal’s Algarve; and then past Gib into the Med when the mood takes me and I’d me a darn site more happy]

But then, they didn’t know that my ascendent was in Leo, and the moon, mercury and pluto planets were all in Leo!

Andrew – a Leo with sun in Cancer!

Leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: