Archive for January 28th, 2005

Giving advice

A very tricky thing; giving advice to friends.

Apart from the point that, if you don’t give them the advice they are wanting to hear, you will not be thanked!

In addition to this, they never give you the full facts anyway.

And if the advice then goes belly-up, a friend slowly – and sometimes not so slowly – turns into an enemy.


The reason for this blog? A beautiful young girl wants my advice as she intends to go into journalism and photography. Well, I don’t count too many petite, young and beautiful girls amongst my acquaintances so I don’t want to turn her into an enemy.

So what will I do? The answer is simple. I will sit down with her, and take her through her future studies and training, ask her where she would like to be in ten years time. When I feel I know what she wants and what may be best for her, by asking questions; I will keep silent and won’t tell her at all!

No, but by asking further questions, in such a way, I will try to create a situation where she will come up with the solution I am trying to guide her to make.

She’ll say “That’s what I want to do” as she comes to that decision – and I will say to her; “Well, that’s great, but I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help”, and we will part as friends.

When people come to you for advice, try this, it does work, but you must be wise and ask the right questions, and keep a completely open mind until you have all the answers.


PS The meeting is over – it was a particular difficult case as I came to the conclusion that our friend Christine had not worked out her goals as thoroughly as she should have by now. I will see her again and try to steer her in that direction.

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