Archive for July 14th, 2008

No sex please, we’re British – and old!

Just how many of us are still rampant when we get older when it comes to sex. First of all, take a look at a short footnote on the Deborah Ross page on the Saturday Mail (12 July 2008 – page 53).

My birthday gift? No sex ever again. Inspired by the woman whose present to her husband on his 40th birthday was the promise of sex every day for a year; I told my partner of many, many, many years standing that my birthday present to him this year would be never having to have sex with me again. Thrilled? You can say that again.

‘Really?’ he kept saying, in disbelief, before punching the air, doing an excited jig and then whooping: ‘I’m spared, I’m spared. Thank you so, so much. It’s the best present I’ve ever had.’

When I told my friends, I admit they were incredulous. ‘What, you’re still even bothering?’ they said, whilst his friends were rather jealous, I think; wishing their partners would give them a present such as this. ‘Bliss,’ one even said. ‘Heaven’ said another.

Of course, it hasn’t been easy logistically. We did have to sit down with a planner to work out when and where we wouldn’t be having sex ever again. It was: ‘Well, we have the PTA meeting on Wednesday and you are away Thursday on business, so we’ll just have to not have sex on Monday evening and Tuesday morning.’ He was always up for it. ‘Great,’ he would say. ‘Sounds good to me.’

Actually, his next birthday isn’t until the very end of December, but when I pointed this out he looked so crestfallen I felt compelled to add: ‘But what the hell, have the present now.’ That made him happy again. ‘Really? You had me worried for a minute there, but that’s fantastic. Thanks again. I’m chuffed to bits, I really am.’

This was the funniest article I have read for a long time. Do I believe it? Well to be true, it would be an extremely brave, and foolhardy husband who would react in the way described in the second quoted paragraph above!

What to you think, dear reader? Is it true? Add your comment below!

Ampers

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