Our wonderful Police


Living in London? Worried about being robbed? Don’t be. Our wonderful Metropolitan Police will sort you out.

Alas, they will probably sort you out in a way you don’t expect.

I mean, they won’t catch the culprits will they? How on earth can you expect them to when they, themselves cannot control the security of their own Police Stations!

Over the last three years, the Metropolitan Police have had £123,000 worth of goods stolen from their police stations in 473 separate incidents. Items including uniforms, CS gas sprays, bicycles, televisions, mobile phones and laptops. No doubt they are keeping pretty quiet about police identity cards! Just be careful when the police come round to investigate that they are the genuine article!

Paddington Green has been a victim. This is the high security police station where they take terror suspects to. West End Central, the main central London police station has been a victim, as has the Diplomatic Protection Department!

And what did these thieves take? Well, apart from £5,000 worth of police officers’ own uniforms, the thieves took more than £32,000 of cash, £2,400 in cheques and credit cards, £23,000 worth of bicycles and £12,427 worth of audio equipment. And how can a thief get a television from a police station?

There has been no mention of weapons though. Could this be due to the fact that none were stolen? Or could it be that the police are too embarrassed to admit it?

But there is a bright note at the end of this story, our heroic boys in blue actually managed to apprehend 6% of the villains involved, in between harassing middle class motorists!

Ampers.

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