Fat Cats

A lot has been spoken about the salaries of fat cats. I would like to add my views to the debate.

I feel that the many earners in excess of £1,000,000 per annum, such as pop singers, footballers and now, even football managers deserve everything they can get and we shouldn’t begrudge the working classes this opportunity to get their hands on as much filthy lucre as they can.

As for the middle and professional classes, such as captains of industry, directors of the old public utilities, they will just have to do with the paltry few hundred thousands they get each year and rely on their annual bonus and golden handshakes to make it up. Although some of them are now reaching parity with footballers and pop singers.

I do have a few serious things I would like to say about salaries though, even though it is not my business who earns what! Nor should it be. I should be more concerned in trying to raise my own expectations, rather than worrying what my neighbour earns!

Mind you, I’d be a lot happier if people who earn huge salaries had the greater proportion linked to real productivity.

I would like to take the value of the entire remuneration package of company directors and make 75% of this amount only payable if they meet a certain criteria of success. However, I would allow the actual directors to lay down this criteria as every company has a different profile.

By now, I can hear all your laughter at such a perceived stupid idea. “Let the directors make their own rules?” I hear you chortle, “They would say something like having increased the profits by 5p!”.

My idea would also include the full criteria being written into the company report at the end of the financial year and, when the shareholders vote in directors, they can be the judge of how sensible the directors have been with their criteria! I.e. Mickey-mouse criteria equates to the sack by the shareholders. Said directors would soon wise up to the fact that they need to list sensible criteria. So after a year or two of directors losing their jobs, directors would start working harder to meet their own laid down criteria.

Complicated? Let’s see.

  1. Directors list their own criteria for bonus success.

  2. Shareholders sack said director if a stupid criteria is offered.

  3. Directors work harder to earn their bonus.

  4. The country as a whole would then benefit enormously.

This could also be applied to team sports playing in international matches. A low salary to cover the competition. A medium bonus for each goal scored, an extra large bonus for each match won. My God! Britain would be a world winner, every time, at cricket and football (both rugby and soccer).

Can’t do much about pop singers because of the nature of their payment; i.e. royalties.


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