English Football

I have the answer for the reason why our National football team play so badly.

Try as the authorities may, sack and hire as many managers as they like, they won’t sort out the problem that way.

Footballers are paid too much money. Let me explain.

When a youngster starts to play football before he is recognised by the big teams, he is poor and dreams of making the big time and earning all that money.

Then he is “discovered” and moves up a notch and starts earning money. He still plays well and starts to make a name for himself. Apart from earning more money than he has ever seen in his life, he attracts sponsorships and the big money starts to roll in. He buys a Porches, or Ferrari, or if he has real taste a Lamborghini. He starts going to nightclubs, meeting glamorous girls, then starts drinking too much, the big boys introduce him to white rows and rolled up twenty pound notes, then football starts to be hard work, the drink saps his energy, the cocaine his will.

To ensure we win more matches we need to put them on £500 a week, with £1000 every time they win a match, and a £50,000 bonus every time they win the World Cup. All sponsorship money is kept in escrow until they retire from Football. Any moneys they are paid over these amounts are also kept in escrow until they retire from football.

I will finish up with a home truth. This will never happen and we will never dominate the world game.


  1. #1 by Ampers on Sunday, 27 June 2010 - 6:27 pm

    Absolutely, they never seem to care about the fans. In an earlier match they seemed absolutely shocked at the fans booing them – just couldn’t understand it!

  2. #2 by GOT on Sunday, 27 June 2010 - 6:00 pm

    Good plan Ampers, it’s got legs but, as you say, it’ll never happen. Too many people, making too much money for too little work as it stands so ….. presumably more than happy as they are and f*ck the fans that are actually paying their wages.

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